Loving them to Death
Most of my adult life the admonition to love unconditionally has overtaken my God given inclination and wisdom at times to speak the truth in Love( Ephesians 4). Love has been twisted and has shaped ministry into a caricature of God’s intended purpose for our leaders and the body of Christ. Love has grown cold. Cold meaning the inability to truly love and be in relationship that requires gentleness, kindness, encouragement but also discernment, truth and accountability. A statement I make often is, “that we are loving them to death.” Loving them so much they are dying. Why? We love so much they never are encouraged to grow or challenged about open sin. Churches are more interested in ‘going along to get along’, which is the most dangerous and disastrous philosophy to overtake modern church, families, friendships, business, etc.
Why is our love cold when we extending so much love, because it costs us nothing? It takes no risks. There literally is no skin in the game. It requires nothing of me of wisdom or understanding. I can just love and know nothing of God, never being ready in season or out to speak the truth in love. Primarily because most have been told to just love them, love them to death. We kill them in so many ways; spiritually, physically, emotionally, and more. Our over indulgence in fake ‘love giving’ has produced a selfishness in those trained in its addiction.
Here is how it goes. A couple buys into the idea of living together before marriage. No commitments are made, sex is available, easy to get out, and so forth. The church is now saying just love them and because we love, we feel good about ourselves. If we love them they will see God or find God. Modern believers are addicted to the feeling of being high minded and loving. We might think, “see I don’t judge, I just love.” This addiction and self indulgence travels down the road through the destruction of this young couple. They eventually fail in their efforts to build a Godly relationship and of course we will love them through it. And when they are struggling with God and why He let the struggles happen, we will love them through it. Eventually the couple says to themselves, “this God things does not work”, leaving to try a new philosophy in order to better navigate this difficult and confusing life. All the while feeding our addiction and selfishness to be a faux spiritual person who can love so intently that the circumstances matter not. This is not love. It is sick.
Why is our love cold, because true love battles gently and humbly with thinking that does not line up with God or His word? We are filled with Godly compassion enough to expose them to God’s word and His best for them. We are so full of “fear of man” and what he or she will think of us, we would rather protect ourselves than ask a simple question.